Eddie Gobran
Maybe the team's best player, Eddie will need to bring his A game up-north. His recent play in the States has turned some heads. Joe M and Eddie recently defeated Mark and Karim in a scramble. A foreshadow perhaps?
Strength-Iron play
Weakness-women from Windsor
Mina Grace
A newcomer to golf, Mina will be making his inaugural Cup appearance. Though his game has looked good in the beginning, the rigors of Up North golf are nothing to scoff at. Mina is the Young Team's wildcard.
Strength-Just bought Nike Slingshots
Weakness-novice to tournament play
Michael BishayFresh from finishing law school, Mike plans on making a big splash at this year's Ryder Cup. Mike was one of the few bright spots on the young team last year going 2-0. But like Al, Mike has been drinking heavily as seen in this picture. They will need a more sober Mike if they are to get by.
Strength-recovery shots
Weakness-Driving
John Iskander
Hampered by back problems in Cups past, John looks to rebound from last year's performance. "I have full faith that John will come back and be the John of old" Team Captain, Andrew Isaac said. To John's credit, he has been rehabbing in anticipation of this event.
Strength-inappropriate pick-up lines
Weakness-Smoking
Joe Messeiha
Joe has been welcomed with open arms this year after serving two years on the older team. A much more improved player as of late, his long drives have become a thing to be in awe of. His short game, not so much. If Joe's short game was as good as his cooking, the Young Team would run away with the Cup.
Strength-Cooking
Weakness-His own boobies
Joe Elias
Joe struggled last year with his game and some thought the weight loss had a lot to do with it. Lately, Joe has rediscovered his love for pizza and according to him, "has been hitting bombs" off the tee. Can the coptic version of John Daly be consistent though?
Strength-Monster Tee Shots
Weakness-Boobies at the Strip Club
Andrew Isaac
After struggling early in the season, Andrew seems to be rounding into form. His hatred for golf last year has been supplanted by his hatred of the older team, especially his arch-nemesis Mark Michail(who has still yet to beat Andy head to head). Coined "Chemical Ali" by friend and teammate Joe Elias, Andrew has been allowed the use of drugs during this years Cup play. Will it be enough?
Strength-Battle tested Cup player
Weakness-The 3 B's of Life….Beer, Bitches and Brauts
Alfred Ishak
Coming off a year of absence, Alfred has been doing a lot of drinking to get his mind off how bad his games been. His DNP last year attributed to the Young Team's loss and they will need him in tip-top form if they are to regain the Cup.
Strength-Consistent tee shots
Weakness-short game
Profile of older team later this week........
6 comments:
In addition to the strength and weaknesses of the younger players, I thought I should tell the older team members who are not from detroit hints as to what to do to get under the skin of the younger guys from detroit.
Andy - insult Isiah Thomas as much as you can. the reaction is classic.
Mike Bishay - steal his bottle of Pepsi and replace with a bottle of Coke.
Juju - too easy. . . he will say 3 stupid things by saturday morning all by himself. Plus, he wears pink shirts. . .
Mina Grace - Mention a certain picture of him figure skating that is located in his parents house. I would give anyone $100 for a copy of that pic.
Joe Messieha - Ask him if his man boobs get in the way of his swing.
Alfred - Introduce yourself as Paul Singh and ask him if he wants to purchase suits and shirts from Thailand. He may punch you, but it will most likely throw his game off.
in response to mark's helpful hints i thought i'd give our canadian teammates some tips to throw the older gentlemen off of their own games.
mark - ask him when was the last time he saw his penis, as his immense belly has eclipsed it since he was 12.
dan - well dan's easy...if you breath too loud it'll throw him off. he has the equivalence of golfer's a.d.d.
joe jarvis - mention any of his gay sexcapades with the aforementioned dan awad
karim - any mention of his 2005 ryder cup putt on the last hole on the last day...also, saying "you pulled a karim" when anyone misses a gimme putt within earshot also works
charlie - get him going on chicago sports (or lack thereof)
joe awad - he's a beginner so i'll go easy on him
mark,
you got F'd in the A
signed,
cartman
Fuji . . .when you look down all you see is those massive tits of yours.
Andy, I thought that Dan told you to keep your sexual fantasies to yourself and your therapist. Let us try to keep this clean.
Joe, next time you golf make sure you pull ur pants we do not to see ur hairy ass bitch... You should talk about my putting Dan and I smoked you and Mina last week....
smoke these
Post a Comment